Pyramid Head's gift
by PyroYoshi
Summary: Pyramid Head has a very strange present for James. It's not what you think it is. It's much, much worse.


This was it. The final confrontation. James knew who was waiting for him beyond this door. That atrocious creature, the red pyramid thing.  
He was tired of running from the truth, it was time for him to face his fears and admit his sin. Taking a deep breath, James slowly opened the door, stepping into the cavernous room.

"James?!" Maria desperately called from somewhere above. "Maria? Where are you?" James called, looking around and not seeing anybody. Finally he saw her, trapped in a metal frame, suspended upside down and hanging from the ceiling.

Heavy footsteps were heard, signaling the monster's appearance. Two shapes blundered forwards in the darkness, as the executioner had brought a friend. They became clearer, and as they advanced, a grotesque sight became apparent.

Pyramid Head was wearing a sweater.

It was Christmas themed, knitted with red, green and white fabric. Depicting a cheerful array of snowflakes, presents, ginger bread men and Santa heads, it looked incredibly out of place. The second Pyramid Head, this one with a brown helmet, was also clad in a horrendous knit sweater. His had peace symbols and cute little ducks embroidered on it. He was sulking, clearly embarrassed to be wearing such a thing.

James was at a loss for words. All he could do was stare with a moronic slack jawed expression on his face.

If the sight of a nightmarish monster in a holiday sweater wasn't odd enough, Pyramid Head spoke. His voice was deep and raspy, but not as distorted as one would expect.

"Thanks for finding my great knife, James. Can you give it back, please? I made this adorable knit grip for the handle, and I want to see how it looks."

"What the...you...you talk?!" James asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. You're probably wondering why we aren't attacking, and that's because you admitted your crime before you came here. Our purpose is done. Now we can just have fun, and we don't need to kill other monsters to make you realize your sins." Pyramid Head exclaimed. He made a gesture to his mopey twin. "That's Fred, but most people simply call him brown pyramid thing. We got bored waiting for you, so I knitted a couple of sweaters. It's a talent I've had for a while. Valtiel taught me how."

"So...you aren't going to try and kill me? I murdered Mary! The only woman I ever loved! I don't think I really deserve to live, and you're just going to let me go?" James asked, completely baffled.

"Correct. You loved her, didn't you? She was going to die anyway, and there was nothing that could be done. You killed her out of mercy. Now, come join us. We bear a gift. Fred, give James his sweater." Pyramid Head beckoned James forward, while Fred produced the gift.

This sweater was light blue, and it depicted a group of cuddly rabbits holding hands underneath a rainbow. "Oh no.." James muttered to himself. No way was he going to wear that. No way.

"Go ahead, try it on. I think its the right size." Pyramid Head said as Fred handed the sweater over to James.

"Thanks, I guess," James mumbled to himself. He REALLY didn't want to wear such a revolting item, but he was afraid he might offend the creature if he didn't. This was a chance he couldn't risk, as an offended Pyramid Head could most likely get really nasty.  
Tugging the sweater over his head, he found that it fit snugly, and was actually quite comfortable. "It fits exactly. May I ask how you knew precisely what size to make it?" James inquired.

Pyramid Head shrugged. "Lucky guess. Did you think I was stalking you and watching you or something?"

"Actually, yes." James said flatly. "You did have a habit of appearing at really bad times. I mean, trying to skewer me on that huge knife of yours, then pushing me off the hospital roof? Was that really called for? It hurt like hell."

"I was just following the town's orders. Now that we've served our purpose, we can sit back, relax and maybe head to the bar to forget all about those mishaps." Pyramid Head offered.

"I could go for a drink," Fred piped up. "I'd love to forget about this damn sweater I've been conned into wearing. Let's face it, NO ONE is going to fear me when I've got this on. And you know what else? As long as I'm wearing this, I have a zero percent chance in getting a date with one of those hot nurses. Even the old hunchback nurses will laugh at me!"

"You don't want to date them. Those chicks are crazy." James chimed in. "I lost count in how many times they tried to kill me. They probably wanted to knock me out with their pipes, tie me to a gurney and gang rape me or something.

Pyramid Head stroked the side of his helmet. "I wouldn't put it past them. They don't get access to living men very often, so they're pretty lonely most of the time."

"That's because most people don't last two hours in this town." Fred added.

"True. Anyway, to switch subjects here, I think a make up session is needed. James, you and I really got off on the wrong foot. I don't like hurting anybody, but Alessa gets kind of pissed if I don't follow up on my orders." Pyramid Head said.

"What do you mean, orders?" James inquired.

"It's a really long story, but I'll try and give you a basic rundown. This town has always had spiritual and supernatural activity. But the otherworld, where you are right now, hasn't always been here. About twenty years ago, Alessa was offered up as a sacrifice by her own mother, who was a priestess of the Order. Basically, she was going to be burned alive, but she survived and was taken to Alchemilla hospital. She was kept locked away in the basement for seven years, and her hate is what formed this nightmare world. All of the monsters, including us, exist because of that incident, and we take various forms depending on who is called to the town. My orders were to torment you until you confessed that you killed Mary. Oh, and by the way, I wasn't-"

"HEY! Did you guys forget about me? I'm still stuck up here!" Maria called from the ceiling, thrashing about in the metal frame. "James, get me down, NOW!"

James shifted uncomfortably and feigned interest in the filthy carpet.

"Goddamnit, I will not be ignored! Somebody pay attention to me!" Maria demanded.

"Are we going to go to the bar or what? I'm bored of all this Order talk." Fred said.

"I'm down. I hope the bar tender will let us smash beer mugs over our helmets." Pyramid Head said. He turned towards James. "Are you in? Drinks are on me."

James mentally reviewed his day. He drove to Silent Hill after receiving a letter from his dead wife, met a crazy nineteen year old who looked to be more around forty, witnessed Pyramid Head killing some mannequin creatures, met a psychotic fat guy, fought Pyramid Head, met a snotty little bitch, met a slutty manifestation of his wife, was pushed off a roof, killed some weird things in the hospital, saw Maria get killed, stole Pyramid Head's knife, murdered the psychotic fat guy, saw Maria get slaughtered again, watched the tape in room 213, and watched Angela the schizophrenic walk into a wall of fire. Now he was about to go out for drinks with the very monster who had been stalking and tormenting him. What did he have to lose?

"Alright, I'm in. Anybody up for some pre game beer pong?" he asked.

"Oh! Me, I am!" Pyramid Head exclaimed.

The three of them left the room, leaving Maria hanging from the ceiling.

"What about me? I like beer pong..." she tried to plead with them, but they were already gone. "Well, this sucks."

She wasn't sure how long she had been hanging there. Due to all the blood rushing to her head, the upper half of her body was numb, and try as she might, she couldn't undo the shackles on her feet. She could break free by changing into her demon form, but was hesitant to do so, since she wouldn't be able to change back.

Sometime later, the doors opened again and Laura strode into the room. She gazed at Maria sadistically. "Do you want me to let you down? Do you?"

"Yes, please. I can't feel my arms."

"Ha ha! That's too bad! Your just a crappy version of Mary! You can stay up there forever!" Laura taunted.

"Laura, you've been such a little bitch during your entire time here. To me, to James, to everybody. You must be punished." Maria said darkly.

Laura, being the smart ass brat she is, wasn't deterred. "Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?"

Maria responded by turning into her demon form, picking Laura up by the throat, and strangling her. Once she tired of choking her, she broke her neck, thus ending her reign of terror.


End file.
